The subliminal suggested-sell, the hammer of the gods, and the Christmas sweater — which one do you fear the most?

He returns with a friend, a very short guy who is dressed and made up exactly like he is — a “Mini-Me” Johnny Rotten.

“Johnny Rotten — he and the rest of the Sex Pistols, they hate each other. Can’t be in the same room together. They share a stage for an hour a night and that’s it.”

Bruce Springsteen broke the ice by slapping me on the shoulder and saying “Where to, young man?” I replied, “Climb on in and strap yourself down; we’re goin’ for a ride.”

We were told to suggest-sell the living hell out of the Rolling Stones’ new album. Inspired, I went to the magazine rack with a pair of scissors

In my day, the web was small. It wasn’t even a billion pages yet. You could surf the entire thing in under a hundred years. And it was a kinder, more homey place; you knew all your neighbors.

I have merged all the sales emails I have received in the last month into one super email which is guaranteed to sell your product. Use it wisely.

Here at Archie McPhee we’re used to strange things happening, but these events defy explanation. Something is out there.

In 1990, I met comedian Andrew Dice Clay in Las Vegas. His reputation preceded him: People were saying he was a lousy tipper and an obnoxious jerk.

I want a good night’s sleep. Not a drug-induced kind of sleep. Just a natural, quiet, uneventful type of slumber. But outside influences too often get between me and Mr. Sandman.