What’s That? You Need Holiday Presents?
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Posted in One Million Watts on 29 November 2010
Stats: 4,685 views and No Comments

You say it’s the holidays and you need presents for your friends and family? We have a few suggestions. Turns out this site is sponsored by Archie McPhee!

The Ultimate Sales Letter
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 24 September 2010
Stats: 5,399 views and 3 Comments

I have merged all the sales emails I have received in the last month into one super email which is guaranteed to sell your product. Use it wisely.

The Day Pandora Gave Me a Bean Burrito
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 30 June 2010
Stats: 27,084 views and No Comments

You have probably never heard “Bean Burrito,” Hiram Bullock’s smooth jazz tribute to, well, a bean burrito. Nor would I have, if Pandora Radio’s algorithm-based system really worked.

Natural Prankster
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 29 March 2010
Stats: 6,619 views and 2 Comments

I discovered two rows of worker ants, one entering and one returning outside. I cringed as I imagined what they had found. A salsa spill? A forgotten stash of unwanted licorice jellybeans? A corpse?

Seven New Greeting Cards from Pakistan
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Posted in One Million Watts on 6 January 2010
Stats: 23,768 views and 1 Comment

I propose that the most efficient way to understand a people and their culture is to examine their greeting cards. It’s like reading their mail before they send it.

Archie McPhee and Monkey Goggles
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Posted in One Million Watts on 27 November 2009
Stats: 5,602 views and 3 Comments

Your support of Archie McPhee will help us to make sure that Monkey Goggles continues entertaining you, irritating you and recharging your libido with goat glands implanted just under the skin.

Bang Guns and Wolf Men: Exploring M. Gordon Novelty Shop
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 17 November 2009
Stats: 13,164 views and 4 Comments

I knew I’d found it when I saw a blue building with a black-and-white Wolfman poster hanging in its window, assuring me that I was about to be in the best possible place.

Rock of Monsters! Twenty Must-Have Halloween Songs
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Posted in Things We Like on 29 October 2009
Stats: 38,041 views and 11 Comments

Over an insanely funky beat, good ol’ Charlie Brown throws down his paper bag full of stratum, elbows his way through his posse and steps up: “I gotta rock.” After this, no one will ever diss him again, not even Lucy.

Time Enough for Weird: Novelty Songs in the iPod Age
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Posted in Things We Like on 1 September 2009
Stats: 113,593 views and 13 Comments

If your taste in novelty songs begins and ends at the great “Weird Al” Yankovic or “My Ding-a-Ling,” it’s time to introduce some fresh crazy blood into your iTunes shuffle.

The Least Successful Toy in the World
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Posted in Things We Like on 19 August 2009
Stats: 38,722 views and 4 Comments

Toy companies are known for cynically jumping on bandwagons. But things don’t always work out. Perhaps today, we can forgive Lionel Trains for trying to come up with a train set that appealed to girls.