I’d like to take this opportunity to pay tribute to four words on a television screen that have brought a thrill to so many the world over: “Peter Falk as COLUMBO.”

It’s nowhere near an instant classic, but “Tron: Legacy” is an enjoyable and strong popcorn movie, and it doesn’t deserve much of the abuse it’s getting. Let’s break it down to the bits.

Meet the man who invented the GameBoy, and the man who wants to kill your medical provider with a plague of bees.

We pulled into a gas station outside Pienza, where we learned the car had a locking fuel cap … only we weren’t equipped with the key.

This one is for those who try and ruin Christmas for everyone. I am taking it on myself to douse you with a liberal helping of Christmas cheer whether you want it or not.

Sheetar and Lumpy engage in mortal combat! Who will prevail?

Every male actor who’s made his mark in the great dynasty of Hollywood royalty has had a female actress to match him line for line — and Arnold Schwarzenegger is no exception.

How to wrap a kitten for Christmas! Plus: Melvin Dummar makes a friend, and Ryan Henry Ward paints the town.

We lament the day Ernie Kovacs was forced to quit the Nairobi Trio. And in Monkey Goggles Klassics: Klingon hardcore rap?

I freely admit that I liked “Glee’s” watered-down version of this tranny-filled musical, even if it changed the lyric of “Touch-A, Touch-A, Touch Me” from “seat wetting” to “bad fretting.”