Another Side of Fruitcake
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 17 December 2010
Stats: 6,781 views and 1 Comment

Confession. I have never had fruitcake. I know nothing about it. Yes, I know what it is, but I don’t know what it is. I don’t know what it tastes like. And today, I’m going to eat it.

An Open Letter to All Food Trucks
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 2 December 2010
Stats: 6,784 views and 2 Comments

I really like the idea behind what you do — a literal movable feast. But I lament the lack of pho, mini doughnut and mashed potatoes trucks.

Excerpts from H.P. Lovecraft’s Yelp Page
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 27 August 2010
Stats: 9,309 views and 3 Comments

After awakening from a troubled sleep infected with visions of demonic abstractions pitched at odd angles against an impossible landscape of stark horror, my sweet tooth hit.

Got Malted?
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 21 July 2010
Stats: 12,073 views and 2 Comments

I love malted milk, malted milk balls and all related products. I love then enough to want to sing their praises in public, because it seems like the flavor of the malted is disappearing.

The Majesty of Toast
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 15 July 2010
Stats: 5,379 views and 4 Comments

You know what’s awesome? Toast. I’m so smitten with it that I have a tattoo of a toaster on my left arm. When people inquire after its significance, all I say is this: “I like toast.”

The Day Pandora Gave Me a Bean Burrito
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 30 June 2010
Stats: 26,828 views and No Comments

You have probably never heard “Bean Burrito,” Hiram Bullock’s smooth jazz tribute to, well, a bean burrito. Nor would I have, if Pandora Radio’s algorithm-based system really worked.

Stardust Memories of Waffle House
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 17 June 2010
Stats: 5,260 views and 4 Comments

Hatched in Georgia in 1955, the 24/7 restaurant chain blankets the South. Its sunny yellow Scrabble-tile signs standing proudly at every other exit from Savannah to Gulfport — and beyond.

I Almost Ate Cobra
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 27 May 2010
Stats: 3,769 views and No Comments

The days leading up to Tet must mark a lull in national cobra consumption. Despite it being lunchtime, there was not a person in the place, save the bored-looking older couple who ran it.

Awesome Cupcake Facts!
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 7 May 2010
Stats: 321,339 views and 8 Comments

In our continuing effort to educate the public in all matters of taste and importance, we present the following 100% true and well-researched facts about cupcakes. What d’ya have there, Abner Doubleday?

What Type of Pizza is Right For You?
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 23 March 2010
Stats: 4,792 views and No Comments

Cheese is my Prozac. There are delicious bits of cheesy goodness that will cure any and all ills, and chief among these cheesy medications is pizza. But what style?