The Archives

The Worst Celebrity Product Licenses of All Time, Part 2
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Posted in One Million Watts on 7 December 2009
Stats: 10,474 views and 6 Comments

It says a lot about the Atomic Age that America’s pre-Kennedy First Family, the Ricardos, hawked cigarettes for the holidays. Now we know why Lucy’s voice was lower than James Earl Jones’.

In Which the Author Becomes Rich and Also Famous
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Posted in One Million Watts on 16 November 2009
Stats: 2,087 views and 1 Comment

It took me a moment to recognize Robin Leach. Somehow he managed to hold the attention of a beautiful woman while looking like the proverbial unmade bed.

Can Disney Re-invent the Rodent?
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Posted in One Million Watts on 10 November 2009
Stats: 2,461 views and 2 Comments

Mickey Mouse circa 1928 was a hellraiser. He dealt squarely with his enemies, but he also played pranks on his friends. And oh boy, do we need him back.

The Worst Celebrity Product Licenses of All Time
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Posted in One Million Watts on 19 October 2009
Stats: 46,303 views and 9 Comments

What was the marketing guy thinking when he hooked up The Supremes with a branded white bread deal? Pumpernickel, maybe, but white bread?

“Captain EO,” Michael Jackson and Disneyland
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 24 September 2009
Stats: 7,083 views and 6 Comments

On the night the late Michael Jackson moved into Disneyland, a huge party was held. The secretive pop star had paid plenty of commando visits to the Happiest Place on Earth over the years, almost always in disguise, but on September 19, 1986 he made the Park his official home.

The Hollywood Treatment
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 23 September 2009
Stats: 2,874 views and 2 Comments

It was another hot, dusty Wednesday in LA. I was sitting in my office minding my own business, which is to say not minding much of anything at all. Business had been as brisk as an alpine snail race – uphill.

Excerpts from the Dream Diary of William Shatner
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 18 September 2009
Stats: 5,938 views and 1 Comment

When I opened my car door there was an explosion of ferrets. They just kept running and squirming their way out of the driver’s door like a fur avalanche.

Close Encounters with Penn Jillette
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Posted in One Million Watts on 8 September 2009
Stats: 6,395 views and 1 Comment

In the weeks before I met magician/con artist/professional wiseass Penn Jillette backstage at Las Vegas’ Huntridge Theater, I experienced a number of Penn sightings. His towering silhouette would mask out the sun for a moment, and I would feel woozy and disoriented.

Matthew Broderick and Me
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 4 September 2009
Stats: 3,126 views and 3 Comments

My first retail experience was selling sneakers at an Athlete’s Foot store on West 8th Street. It was there I managed to annoy a very young Matthew Broderick.

Marooned With Hollywood
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Posted in One Million Watts on 31 August 2009
Stats: 3,528 views and 2 Comments

I was headed for a remote Fijian island, where I could escape the traffic, the Ed Hardy and the ex-reality TV stars of the greater Los Angeles area. Or so I thought.