He returns with a friend, a very short guy who is dressed and made up exactly like he is — a “Mini-Me” Johnny Rotten.

“Johnny Rotten — he and the rest of the Sex Pistols, they hate each other. Can’t be in the same room together. They share a stage for an hour a night and that’s it.”

I have a friend whose mantra is ““If you want to get hit, go play in traffic.”” When economic recession swooped in, my husband and I decided to play in traffic — and we got hit.

Cloris Leachman appeared in my dreams last night. I’m always happy to see her, and heaven knows she deserves as many roles as she can get.

I join social networks willy-nilly and put little or no thought into them, but it isn’t what I put on them that matters. It’s what I leave off.

Down on the mean streets, some chumps are about to get what’s coming to ‘em. Meanwhile, in Japan, some dazzling celebrity chumps are about to get what’s coming to ‘em.

When I moved into my new house, imagine my surprise in finding out that my new neighbor was once a Hollywood agent. Here are a few of the stories he has shared with me so far.

I’m sure tons of celebrities have a Google Alert set up to look for their own name, but not all of them have time to follow up on all the blog mentions. Still, Mr. Wheaton, can you let us know if you dropped by?

Dear M. Night and Nathaniel: I am writing to let you know I am banning myself from watching any more of your movies. You two colluded to emotionally blackmail me.

Confidence men and thieves are abundant in the real world, and nearly of them are despicable human beings. In movies, however, these crooks display an ability I often wish I had: to save their own skins through storytelling.