The Archives

Again with The Suburbs? Really?
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Posted in One Million Watts on 20 September 2010
Stats: 4,491 views and 1 Comment

If suburbia is so horrible, why do most people now live there? The Arcade Fire doesn’t answer the question, so I’ll give it a shot.

Searching for the Perfect Cardigan
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 15 September 2010
Stats: 4,864 views and 2 Comments

I’ve looked practically everywhere and still I have not been able to find the Perfect Cardigan. Honestly, I’m not asking for much.

Are You There, God? It’s Me and I’m Confused
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 13 September 2010
Stats: 3,826 views and 1 Comment

Some people test-drive a few cars before making a down payment. This was the approach I took towards religion. I tried them all, and I still don’t know what I’m doing.

Tomorrow’s Tater Tots, Today!
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Posted in One Million Watts on 1 September 2010
Stats: 11,254 views and 8 Comments

My restaurant would serve one thing, and serve it well: tater tots. I would rock tater tots so hard that even the slouchy, diffident hipsters would gobble up them by the boatload.

Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!
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Posted in Things We Like on 19 August 2010
Stats: 20,241 views and 9 Comments

The old-fashioned TV theme song gave you another minute to get yourself situated, like the house lights blinking at the theater. Somehow, these intros fell from favor.

Bulls on Parade
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 10 August 2010
Stats: 4,828 views and No Comments

For a hot minute, I considered running with the bulls myself — down the main drag of Mesquite, Nevada, past stunned onlookers, into a waiting limousine.

On Waitress Patrol with The Pink Sisters
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 5 August 2010
Stats: 22,166 views and 6 Comments

If anyone had told me that the best girlfriend of my adult life would present in the package of a small, cranky, funny Dutch woman, I wouldn’t have believed them.

A Kinder, Gentler Ballgame
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Posted in Seattle on 29 July 2010
Stats: 4,244 views and 2 Comments

If you have a major league jones for a ballgame but find your finances dipping below the Mendoza Line, consider a jaunt to check out the plucky Everett AquaSox.

How to Bring Back Paint-by-Number Art
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 26 July 2010
Stats: 9,492 views and 2 Comments

While running an errand at Michael’s Arts and Crafts, something caught my eye: smiling clowns and wolves pacing through the woods. Oh yes, the paint-by-number aisle!

Airborne Thoughts on Hometown Pride
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 20 July 2010
Stats: 3,732 views and 3 Comments

Every day I feel what it is to be a Las Vegan — to be underestimated at every turn, to be judged a hard-drinking frat boy, to be thought artless and bereft. And I use it to my advantage.