The Archives

Again with The Suburbs? Really?
Posted in One Million Watts on 20 September 2010
Stats: 4,957 views and 1 Comment

If suburbia is so horrible, why do most people now live there? The Arcade Fire doesn’t answer the question, so I’ll give it a shot.

Searching for the Perfect Cardigan
Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 15 September 2010
Stats: 5,273 views and 2 Comments

I’ve looked practically everywhere and still I have not been able to find the Perfect Cardigan. Honestly, I’m not asking for much.

Are You There, God? It’s Me and I’m Confused
Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 13 September 2010
Stats: 4,284 views and 1 Comment

Some people test-drive a few cars before making a down payment. This was the approach I took towards religion. I tried them all, and I still don’t know what I’m doing.

Tomorrow’s Tater Tots, Today!
Posted in One Million Watts on 1 September 2010
Stats: 11,799 views and 8 Comments

My restaurant would serve one thing, and serve it well: tater tots. I would rock tater tots so hard that even the slouchy, diffident hipsters would gobble up them by the boatload.

Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!
Posted in Things We Like on 19 August 2010
Stats: 20,892 views and 9 Comments

The old-fashioned TV theme song gave you another minute to get yourself situated, like the house lights blinking at the theater. Somehow, these intros fell from favor.

Bulls on Parade
Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 10 August 2010
Stats: 5,280 views and No Comments

For a hot minute, I considered running with the bulls myself — down the main drag of Mesquite, Nevada, past stunned onlookers, into a waiting limousine.

On Waitress Patrol with The Pink Sisters
Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 5 August 2010
Stats: 23,060 views and 6 Comments

If anyone had told me that the best girlfriend of my adult life would present in the package of a small, cranky, funny Dutch woman, I wouldn’t have believed them.

A Kinder, Gentler Ballgame
Posted in Seattle on 29 July 2010
Stats: 4,794 views and 2 Comments

If you have a major league jones for a ballgame but find your finances dipping below the Mendoza Line, consider a jaunt to check out the plucky Everett AquaSox.

How to Bring Back Paint-by-Number Art
Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 26 July 2010
Stats: 10,054 views and 2 Comments

While running an errand at Michael’s Arts and Crafts, something caught my eye: smiling clowns and wolves pacing through the woods. Oh yes, the paint-by-number aisle!

Airborne Thoughts on Hometown Pride
Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 20 July 2010
Stats: 4,180 views and 3 Comments

Every day I feel what it is to be a Las Vegan — to be underestimated at every turn, to be judged a hard-drinking frat boy, to be thought artless and bereft. And I use it to my advantage.