People take great pride in their Christmas trees, whether they be real or artificial. Colored or white lights? Bows and ribbons, or strings of beads? The possibilities are endless.

Even though things like sewing and embroidering don’t seem all that flashy, the mundanities of Nudie Cohn’s life are far more exciting than the highest points of mine.

A midlife crisis can be a good thing. What if it’s really a preemptive emotional turmoil meant to warn you of a dangerous stagnation in your mind, body, soul, marriage or career? A kind of idiot light blinking just before things start to seize up and you get, you know, old?

If you watch the Food Network, you know that in the two weeks leading up to Thanksgiving they show Thanksgiving-themed programming around the clock.

It’s not a digital camera or an MP3 player, doesn’t even get FM radio — and yet, I love this cheap piece of electronic hardware more than anything.

I freely admit that I liked “Glee’s” watered-down version of this tranny-filled musical, even if it changed the lyric of “Touch-A, Touch-A, Touch Me” from “seat wetting” to “bad fretting.”

“Fantasy Football is like Dungeons & Dragons for jocks,” hipsters say. Not true. Though I played football as a younger fellow, I am no more a “jock” than someone who likes role-playing games is a wizard or cleric.

The “Grand Theft Auto” series of video games is known for a lot of things, but sightseeing rarely makes the list. Until now!

I said “Hi, your suitcase has my uncommon last name on it.” But I was actually thinking “Zzzzzzzzzzzz flibbert-snort garfnaggle brot flibbidy-hoo.”

What do deer hunting and airport ground crews have in common? Only the most obnoxious color in the spectrum.