Henrik Pascha 7 August 2009 Stories and Appreciations 927 views No Comment Print This Post  Email This Post

Things are rapidly changing in Holland. Over the past five years, a country once famous — or notorious, depending on how you look at it — for its liberties has turned into a place where even good old-fashioned freedom of speech has become a Parliament issue. Many Dutchmen want to put a halt to it, especially since religious feelings can easily be offended these days. It prompted the leader of the conservative party to refer to the United States as an example of where freedom is still honoured.

Perhaps that’s why so many in Old Amsterdam flirt with the idea of traveling to New Amsterdam. The lines in front of the American consulate are long, and gates and fences dating back to the sieges of the anti-Vietnam era now come in handy in managing the crowds applying for their bit of freedom. All a Dutchman has to do, though, to visit the USA is only to register online with the Electronic System for Travel Authorization (ESTA), get approved, and off you go.

“You do not have to go to a U.S. Embassy or Consulate in person,” the ESTA web page reads. “(And) according to the Department of Homeland Security over 99% of all ESTA applications are approved within five seconds.”

A 52-year-old Amsterdam lady, unfamiliar with today’s technology, attempted to do just that. She submitted her ESTA application, and within five seconds she got the response: Denied.

At first she thought it was her fault, either from making typing errors or hitting wrong buttons. But time after time, she either got the message that she couldn’t apply twice or found herself rejected anew. It’s a rather desperate situation when everything is already booked: ticket, hotel, car rental. So, join the club in front of the consulate, dear lady.

But you cannot enter the gate when carrying a mobile phone, and if you’re on your own, the only option is to return home. Coming back without any contraband, you are asked whether you have made an appointment. No? Then you should go home and make one by phone. But that phone call costs a fat $25 in US dollars, only payable by credit card. Credit cards are not widespread among the elderly in Europe, so she asked to borrow mine. Freedom has its price.

Having finally gained entry to the consulate, a clerk at the desk listened to her story and advised her to go back home again.

“Wait 10 days and apply again for your travel authorization,” he said. “When you make just one typing error, dear lady, the system locks you out and it takes at least a week before your application is reset.”

Ten precious days passed by. A few days before her departure, she went online and applied again. Denied.

After making a new urgent appointment by phone with a consular officer, she was told that her passport was registered at Interpol. “Why?” They had no idea. “But can’t you do anything about it?” “Madam, I am just a simple consular officer. Interpol goes way above my authority.”

Fortunately, a friend with some access to Interpol records managed to look up her passport.

“Has your car ever been stolen?” this friend asked.

“My car? Yes, come to think of it: four years ago, I went to the police because I had forgotten where I parked it.”

”And your passport was in the car?”

“Yes, but the next day I found my car and went back to the police to tell them. In the past year I have traveled to France and England with that car and with that passport.”

“Well, there still is a search warrant out for your car and your passport.”

So she returned to that very police office of four years ago. Looking up the archive files, the ever-so-friendly policeman confirmed that the lady had correctly reported her car and passport as being found – but evidently not to Interpol.

“What can I do?” she asked the policeman in desperation. Her trip was within two days. The policeman, not unsympathetically, told her that Interpol was not their authority and that the only thing she could do was to apply for a new emergency passport and present it at the consulate.

“An emergency passport, and no ESTA travel authorization?” said the consular officer. “Then you’ll most likely be detained at the airport. Madam, take my advice: go home and stay home.”

Well, the lady is a rather ‘spiritual’ lady, and apart from visiting tourist sites she wanted to attend a conference about the big shift supposedly happening in the near future. So, she figured that she wasn’t meant to travel. And since she is a very spiritual lady, she didn’t complain about losing her $5000 in travel arrangements.

“Maybe it has saved me from much worse,” she said.

Two weeks later, I had to travel to the US for business on short notice. I applied on line for my ESTA travel authorization, and within five seconds I was approved. With cheerful confidence I landed in New Amsterdam and proudly presented my ESTA travel authorization.

“We don’t need that, sir.”

“Why, it says on the internet, you possibly can’t travel without it!”

“Ah, sir, it will take years before that ESTA is incorporated in our systems. Meanwhile, we just check passports the good old-fashioned way.”

As I drank my Starbucks coffee in the land of the free, I couldn’t help calling my spiritual lady to relate the Kafka-esque dénouement to her story: The very travel document that had kept her home had no significance.

She wasn’t the least bit indignant.

“See?” she said. “It just proves I was saved from something very bad.”

Photo by Salim