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Tales of the Wallingford Beast, Part 1

17 September 2010 Lies and Entertainment 28,282 views One CommentPrint This Post Print This Post Email This Post Email This Post

Ever since moving Archie McPhee into our new location in Wallingford last year, there have been some strange things happening. For obvious reasons, we’re used to strange things happening, but these events defied rational explanation. At night, while closing up the store, we’ve heard an odd screeching sound that sounded like an animal’s cry. The alley behind the store is constantly full of odd bones picked clean of meat. We throw them away, but more bones appear the next day.

Finally, it all came to a head when Steve heard something behind the store and we captured the video at the end of this piece. After multiple sightings by staff members, we made up our minds to decided to research what was going on. Soon enough, we came across this article in Seattle Daily Times article from 1934:

MYSTERIOUS BEAST STALKED IN WALLINGFORD

Wallingford (Feb.15th) — A mysterious animal — described as being insect-like with a chimpanzee head and the ability to climb a brick wall — has been reported prowling through the streets of Wallingford after dark for the past fortnight. Neighbors have reported more than 15 cats and small dogs missing, and the beheaded body of a beagle was found in a rain barrel by a surprised police officer.

Despite reassurances from city officials, the good people of Wallingford have joined together in nightly search parties, armed with rifles and pitchforks, to take care of the beast. Respected mercantile owner, Stig Hansen, leads one of the parties and has had a close encounter with the beast. “We believe it is a creature of the Orient that stowed away onboard a ship.”

The children have been so frightened since it appeared, it has caused them to come up with a playground chant to scare the younger children. After school you can hear the children whisper, “It comes in the night to take bad girls and boys/ You’ll hear its feet clicking a terrible noise/ You call out for your mother, father or priest/ Too late, you’re supper for the Wallingford Beast.”

So far, these nocturnal expeditions have brought no result, but this does not deter the terrified neighbors from their duty. They have declared that if they cannot kill it, they hope to trap it somewhere where it will do no harm.

Until that time, despite the denials from the city council, the citizenry holds its breath and shares stories about encounters.

“It screams only at night,” said Hansen, “Once I fired my shotgun at the place where the noise was coming from, but it scuttled away. Others have heard it as well, but the sound does not seem to come from the monster itself; it rises up from the earth and envelops you in a
piercing wail.”

Bars of Crazy Cat Lady Soap, scented to smell like cat food, have been found recently with bite marks taken out of them. More and more evidence is pointing to some kind of cryptozoological explanation for what’s been happening around the store.

We are going to set a trap, baited with soap, and see what we catch. I’ll keep you posted.

David Wahl

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One Comment »

  1. […] Read the first part of this astonishing true story here! […]

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