Showbiz Stories from Artie Glimmer
When I moved into my new house, imagine my surprise in finding out that my new neighbor was a Hollywood agent and bit actor back in the days when Hollywood was Hollywood. These days he just manages a few rental units, but back then, he was the King of the Studios.
Here are a few of the stories he has shared with me so far.
I had the office next to Judy Garland on the studio lot back in the early 1960s. We didn’t talk much, but we would order delivery deli together for lunch every once in a while, so she would stop by to pick up her pastrami on rye.
One day, the order got screwed up. She got a ham sandwich instead of her usual pastrami — and based on what I had heard, I expected fireworks of the kind you usually only get on the Fourth of July. But instead, she ate it, enjoyed it and changed her order to ham from that point forward. I don’t think she ever knew my name.
You know Bill Cosby, right? Talented guy, really talented. I saw him eat a bowl of soup once. Hilarious. Funniest thing you ever saw. He saw me looking and asked me not to stare. Not in a mean way, just in a friendly way. “Could you please not stare at me? I’m trying to eat.” That was before he had the show in the 1980s. I had a couple of his albums. Talented guy.
Charles Bronson?!? Let me tell you about Charles Bronson! I played one of the mobsters in “Mr. Majestyk” that shoots up all the melons in Charles Bronson’s barn. So, Chuck is there watching us film, tough as a bear with a mustache and he suddenly gets into a sneezing fit. He had terrible allergies and that year was especially bad. Imagine, a guy like that allergic to flowers. Irony, right?
You remember that show, “Get Smart”?
That was a good show.
I went to the Oscars once. One of my friends is a member of the Academy and he couldn’t go, so he gave me his ticket. I got all tuxedo’d up and the Missus put on her Sunday best and we made our way in. Sure, they weren’t good seats or anything, but it was amazing to be in a room with that many of your peers at once. What a collection of people.
I went into the bathroom and Jack Nicholson, Jeff Bridges and Warren Beatty were all in there. At first I tried to keep my cool, but I couldn’t. I just closed my eyes and started dancing in circles. When I opened my eyes they were all staring at me, a bit shocked.
I smiled at them and said, “This moment right here, right now, is the best moment I’ve ever had in my life.”
They all smiled back and Jack said, “It is pretty good, isn’t it?”
Then, we all joined hands in a circle and danced around like little kids. There, in the bathroom, we were exactly where we wanted to be. In that one moment I think we all let our defenses down and we were all so excited.
They left pretty quick after that, but I’ll never forget that moment. It’s a keeper. My wife doesn’t believe me, but it happened. I swear it.
Best moment of my life.