Down on the mean streets, some chumps are about to get what’s coming to ‘em. Meanwhile, in Japan, some dazzling celebrity chumps are about to get what’s coming to ‘em.

I’m tired of having my great do-it-yourself ideas shot down. Who doesn’t want to build their own one-person hot tub, knit their own money or have their very own floating plastic island?

If you have a major league jones for a ballgame but find your finances dipping below the Mendoza Line, consider a jaunt to check out the plucky Everett AquaSox.

As I pored over the stack of photos from the 1980s, I realized that I’ve never been happy with the way I look in pictures … and that I used to dress like the world’s worst superhero.

I want a good night’s sleep. Not a drug-induced kind of sleep. Just a natural, quiet, uneventful type of slumber. But outside influences too often get between me and Mr. Sandman.

While running an errand at Michael’s Arts and Crafts, something caught my eye: smiling clowns and wolves pacing through the woods. Oh yes, the paint-by-number aisle!

Straight outta Indonesia, it’s a sexy killing machine! Also: The makers of “Wallace and Gromit” pay the bills with style.

I have been to my share of nerd conventions. There are entire subcultures of nerds that aren’t into the stereotypical sci-fi/fantasy mishmash, and I have confronted them all and survived.

My smartphone use is through the roof. It isn’t rude or unsafe, but I’ve come to depend on that handheld interface in ways that almost shame me when I say them out loud.

I love malted milk, malted milk balls and all related products. I love then enough to want to sing their praises in public, because it seems like the flavor of the malted is disappearing.