You have probably never heard “Bean Burrito,” Hiram Bullock’s smooth jazz tribute to, well, a bean burrito. Nor would I have, if Pandora Radio’s algorithm-based system really worked.

I’ve always been a night person. Always. Even as a kid, when I’d stay up to watch “Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman” solely to keep Morpheus at bay.

Good news: Nick “Pogo” Bertke has been commissioned by Disney to create more of his peerless music tracks based on Disney’s films. Bad news: You can’t legally own them.

“Twilight” has nada on this classic Mexican vampire film. Also this week: Comic books as silent film, and catching some winks on the subway.

Boy, I don’t like you. I know that I only saw you for the first time here in the line at Subway, but I just plain despise you.

Most Americans are internationally untraveled. Only a distinct minority of us even own passports. To our minds, any place outside the womb of our country is swarming with anti-American mobs.

As I’m soon to become a dad myself, I got to thinking about those toys that have become ubiquitous — those toys that have spanned the generations to be enjoyed by different children in different eras.

It’s difficult to imagine, in this Age of Internet, what it would be like not to know what the members of your favorite band looked like — but in the days before the Internet, it was a very real possibility.

My singing voice isn’t great, but it can hold a tune. And I love to do it. Growing up in the suburbs of Orange County, CA., singing in public was almost an act of rebellion.

This week we bring you good news from outer space, strange happenings in a public bath, and a few tips to drive you Buggy.