Article Archive for September 2009

An Open Letter to Drew Barrymore, regarding “Whip It”
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Posted in One Million Watts on 30 September 2009
Stats: 6,772 views and 5 Comments

I’ve met hundreds of rollergirls and I think I know what you see in them, Drew: they’re tough and self-motivated. That’s why I haven’t yet seen your roller derby movie: I’m afraid to find out if you screwed it up.

Inside Seattle Rock: Playing the First Gig
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 29 September 2009
Stats: 10,524 views and 3 Comments

Somehow, every new band that manages not to evaporate or self-destruct wants to get out of the basement and play its first live show. First shows are frequently quite difficult to land, in part because there is no transparent method for getting one.

In Praise of Homestar Runner
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Posted in Things We Like on 28 September 2009
Stats: 6,140 views and 1 Comment

The best animated series for adults and older children currently in production isn’t on television at all. The Flash-animated comedy site HomestarRunner.com consistently delivers the goods.

Things We Like: “Thrizzling” Tales and Noggin Bops
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Posted in Things We Like on 26 September 2009
Stats: 4,071 views and No Comments

Every Saturday, the editorial staff of Monkey Goggles will rummage though its bookshelves, toy boxes, music and movie collections, and stacks of assorted stuff to pick out a few choice items that will make your life better.

The Bacon Eater’s Manifesto
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 25 September 2009
Stats: 45,553 views and 6 Comments

The greatest odor in the world is the smell of cooking bacon. If one were to truly and dutifully bottle its essence, even a woman plain as tap water could attract a square-jawed, Hollywood dreamboat. If it were promised that heaven smelled like bacon, surely men would do no evil from that moment forward.

“Captain EO,” Michael Jackson and Disneyland
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 24 September 2009
Stats: 22,013 views and 6 Comments

On the night the late Michael Jackson moved into Disneyland, a huge party was held. The secretive pop star had paid plenty of commando visits to the Happiest Place on Earth over the years, almost always in disguise, but on September 19, 1986 he made the Park his official home.

The Hollywood Treatment
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 23 September 2009
Stats: 4,546 views and 2 Comments

It was another hot, dusty Wednesday in LA. I was sitting in my office minding my own business, which is to say not minding much of anything at all. Business had been as brisk as an alpine snail race – uphill.

Oh Deer, What to Wear This Fall?
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Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 22 September 2009
Stats: 5,026 views and 3 Comments

I don’t need to hear what fashionistas are proclaiming this fall’s “in” color. I already know: it’s blaze orange, just like it is every fall. I see blaze orange jumpsuits hanging from porches, airing out in anticipation of deer hunting season.

The Day of Seattle’s Parking Triffids
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Posted in Seattle on 21 September 2009
Stats: 5,282 views and 4 Comments

One by one, the streets of Seattle are falling under alien influence. Along with robotic red-light cameras at key intersections around Seattle and around the nation, we are now faced with an invasion of robotic computer parking machines, reminiscent of Triffids.

Mr. Bowl in Tinyland – Learn to Listen. Listen to Learn.
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 20 September 2009
Stats: 3,434 views and No Comments

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