I was headed for a remote Fijian island, where I could escape the traffic, the Ed Hardy and the ex-reality TV stars of the greater Los Angeles area. Or so I thought.

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If you have any love in your heart for James Kirk, Emma Peel or Maxwell Smart, you could hardly do better than to buy the DVD of the smartest, most geek-tacular genre comedy of the past decade.

In my winsome and innocent youth, I decided to get work delivering balloon-o-grams. I believed I could bring cheer and happiness right to people’s doors. But would I up the ante by delivering the balloons as a singing “Petunia, the Pink Gorilla.”

Take a musical journey to an era when Americans actually believed that humans could live in plastic houses and not feel shrink-wrapped, and that more and bigger freeways were a pretty good idea.

I love to talk to fellow nerds like Quentin Tarantino. Once they get going their passion increases, the pretense of normalcy drops away, and the pure nerd within them burns as brightly as E.T.’s finger.

The role of government should not be to bleed us dry, but to deliver critical services with integrity. Yet as you read this, private companies are approaching city governments with offers they can’t refuse.

Painting and writing are solitary creative endeavors, while a band is more like a serious amateur sports team without a coach. If a band manages to stick it out long enough to produce some lasting work, that is quite an achievement.

I could never give up on bacon. I enjoy simply looking at it – one long, gently bowing strip on either side of my eggs and toast, like edible parenthesis.

Toy companies are known for cynically jumping on bandwagons. But things don’t always work out. Perhaps today, we can forgive Lionel Trains for trying to come up with a train set that appealed to girls.