I’d like to take this opportunity to pay tribute to four words on a television screen that have brought a thrill to so many the world over: “Peter Falk as COLUMBO.”

A friend wondered why “Auld Lang Syne” is the theme music for New Year’s Eve; why not something more upbeat, more funky, more par-tay?

People take great pride in their Christmas trees, whether they be real or artificial. Colored or white lights? Bows and ribbons, or strings of beads? The possibilities are endless.

While visiting my family for a week, I managed to see three different exes. These reunions were not merely happenstance. They were planned and pleasant experiences.

If you like music, then you like Xmas music. I’m not talking about the crap you hear at the mall or the post office. I guarantee there’s a healthy dose of magnificent holiday music for you.

Confession. I have never had fruitcake. I know nothing about it. Yes, I know what it is, but I don’t know what it is. I don’t know what it tastes like. And today, I’m going to eat it.

They celebrate Christmas in Japan, but it’s nothing you get the day off work for; it’s more akin to Valentine’s Day. They celebrate a weird version of Valentine’s Day, too, but that’s another story.

We settled on some dreadful brand of peppermint schnapps. We figured that the amount of sediment on the bottle was indicative of how little my parents cared about it.

We pulled into a gas station outside Pienza, where we learned the car had a locking fuel cap … only we weren’t equipped with the key.

Even though things like sewing and embroidering don’t seem all that flashy, the mundanities of Nudie Cohn’s life are far more exciting than the highest points of mine.