Articles in the Lies and Entertainment Category

An Excised Portion of the Official Biography of Kim Jong-Il Removed for Mysterious Reasons
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 31 December 2010
Stats: 45,151 views and 1 Comment

After inventing the computer in 1958, the most exalted one looked out over his work and declared it good. He then ate 146 eggs for breakfast.

Rebbe Judah Jewstein’s Guide to the Christmas Season for Jews
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 23 December 2010
Stats: 5,139 views and 4 Comments

Why in the world would you try to make Chanukah into some sort of Jewish Christmas? Are you mental?

A Modest Christmas Wish
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 10 December 2010
Stats: 3,772 views and No Comments

This one is for those who try and ruin Christmas for everyone. I am taking it on myself to douse you with a liberal helping of Christmas cheer whether you want it or not.

The Leading Ladies of Arnold Schwarzenegger
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 3 December 2010
Stats: 8,375 views and 1 Comment

Every male actor who’s made his mark in the great dynasty of Hollywood royalty has had a female actress to match him line for line — and Arnold Schwarzenegger is no exception.

Preparing for Your First TSA Grope
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 26 November 2010
Stats: 3,477 views and No Comments

Attention travelers! The Transportation Security Administration is now offering your pre-flight choice of a naked photo or an “enhanced patdown.” Here’s how to prep yourself for the grope.

Things I Have Learned About Thanksgiving and Turkeys This Week on the Food Network
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 24 November 2010
Stats: 5,675 views and 3 Comments

If you watch the Food Network, you know that in the two weeks leading up to Thanksgiving they show Thanksgiving-themed programming around the clock.

Home Repair For Jerks
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 19 November 2010
Stats: 4,481 views and 1 Comment

We are now proud to introduce a selection from a new do-it-yourself series that peddles to the irritating, malicious and purposely difficult among us. This one’s for you, jerks!

Crime Prevention Tips for a Dangerous World
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 12 November 2010
Stats: 4,327 views and 1 Comment

You probably live a state of constant fear, and with good reason: The world is full of blackmailers, robbers, printer cartridge mailers and other “ers” far too terrible to mention.

A Halloween Apology Letter
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 5 November 2010
Stats: 3,548 views and No Comments

Dressing as you for Halloween was intended as an homage, it was not meant to insult or anger you. It was just a rib. (By the way, did you see the McRib is back this week? Yum!)

Monsters That Never Took Off
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 29 October 2010
Stats: 3,902 views and 1 Comment

The first attempt at a vampire story failed because the creature didn’t drink blood. Instead, he licked sweat off of sweaty, overweight men.