After inventing the computer in 1958, the most exalted one looked out over his work and declared it good. He then ate 146 eggs for breakfast.

Why in the world would you try to make Chanukah into some sort of Jewish Christmas? Are you mental?

This one is for those who try and ruin Christmas for everyone. I am taking it on myself to douse you with a liberal helping of Christmas cheer whether you want it or not.

Every male actor who’s made his mark in the great dynasty of Hollywood royalty has had a female actress to match him line for line — and Arnold Schwarzenegger is no exception.

Attention travelers! The Transportation Security Administration is now offering your pre-flight choice of a naked photo or an “enhanced patdown.” Here’s how to prep yourself for the grope.

If you watch the Food Network, you know that in the two weeks leading up to Thanksgiving they show Thanksgiving-themed programming around the clock.

We are now proud to introduce a selection from a new do-it-yourself series that peddles to the irritating, malicious and purposely difficult among us. This one’s for you, jerks!

You probably live a state of constant fear, and with good reason: The world is full of blackmailers, robbers, printer cartridge mailers and other “ers” far too terrible to mention.

Dressing as you for Halloween was intended as an homage, it was not meant to insult or anger you. It was just a rib. (By the way, did you see the McRib is back this week? Yum!)

The first attempt at a vampire story failed because the creature didn’t drink blood. Instead, he licked sweat off of sweaty, overweight men.