Author Profile: Geoff Carter

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Every single thing Geoff Carter does serves his abiding love of those mushy Swedish Meatballs from the IKEA snack bar. Boy, what he wouldn't do for a lifetime supply. Malm!
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Publications »

In Defense of “Tron: Legacy”
Posted in Things We Like on 21 December 2010
Stats: 64,425 views and 6 Comments

It’s nowhere near an instant classic, but “Tron: Legacy” is an enjoyable and strong popcorn movie, and it doesn’t deserve much of the abuse it’s getting. Let’s break it down to the bits.

Dusty Bottles and Scratchy Vinyl: My First New Year’s Eve
Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 14 December 2010
Stats: 5,114 views and No Comments

We settled on some dreadful brand of peppermint schnapps. We figured that the amount of sediment on the bottle was indicative of how little my parents cared about it.

The Leading Ladies of Arnold Schwarzenegger
Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 3 December 2010
Stats: 9,695 views and 1 Comment

Every male actor who’s made his mark in the great dynasty of Hollywood royalty has had a female actress to match him line for line — and Arnold Schwarzenegger is no exception.

Karaoke is At Least 50% Evil
Posted in One Million Watts on 30 November 2010
Stats: 5,239 views and 4 Comments

When Karaoke was introduced to America in the early 1980s, it is said that Byrne demonstrated the equipment at its New York premiere with a terrifying version of Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love.”

Preparing for Your First TSA Grope
Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 26 November 2010
Stats: 4,219 views and No Comments

Attention travelers! The Transportation Security Administration is now offering your pre-flight choice of a naked photo or an “enhanced patdown.” Here’s how to prep yourself for the grope.

Panda Radio, Back on the Air
Posted in Things We Like on 18 November 2010
Stats: 5,115 views and 2 Comments

It’s not a digital camera or an MP3 player, doesn’t even get FM radio — and yet, I love this cheap piece of electronic hardware more than anything.

Regarding a Pair of Tattoos
Posted in Stories and Appreciations on 16 November 2010
Stats: 5,531 views and 1 Comment

It’s been eight years since I’ve gotten a tattoo, and the two I’ve already got are beginning to ask what’s taking so long.

A Short Note in Praise of the Sun
Posted in Seattle on 11 November 2010
Stats: 7,471 views and 1 Comment

I’m looking at you, bright eyes. You, with your white-hot complexion of hydrogen and helium, your magnetic field, that special way you move (differential rotation!) — all these things add up.

Initiatives That Should’ve Been on the Washington Ballot
Posted in Seattle on 9 November 2010
Stats: 4,010 views and No Comments

Last week, Washington State voted to preserve its historic prohibition-era blue laws and took steps to insure that Tim Eyman will be in our lives for at least 30 more years. But it’s not enough.

How I Discovered My Favorite David Bowie Song
Posted in One Million Watts on 4 November 2010
Stats: 8,066 views and 5 Comments

There are some songs that find a hole in your sense of self and plug it up … and all at once, you begin filling up with the exultations to which you were once immune.