Author Profile: David Wahl

Biography »

David Wahl is generally a happy guy, but has a constant awareness that he is always disappointing someone. If it was you, he's very sorry. If you would like a blurry Polaroid of his subconscious mind, visit his Mostly Forbidden Zone image blog. He also writes about creativity, monkeys, and facts!
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Publications »

An Excised Portion of the Official Biography of Kim Jong-Il Removed for Mysterious Reasons
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 31 December 2010
Stats: 46,167 views and 1 Comment

After inventing the computer in 1958, the most exalted one looked out over his work and declared it good. He then ate 146 eggs for breakfast.

A Modest Christmas Wish
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 10 December 2010
Stats: 4,026 views and No Comments

This one is for those who try and ruin Christmas for everyone. I am taking it on myself to douse you with a liberal helping of Christmas cheer whether you want it or not.

What Have They Done to Bookstores?
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Posted in One Million Watts on 7 December 2010
Stats: 5,161 views and 2 Comments

I don’t need to tell you why bookstores are disappearing. Truthfully, the economics of it don’t interest me as much as where the introverts are supposed to go without them.

What’s That? You Need Holiday Presents?
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Posted in One Million Watts on 29 November 2010
Stats: 4,059 views and No Comments

You say it’s the holidays and you need presents for your friends and family? We have a few suggestions. Turns out this site is sponsored by Archie McPhee!

Things I Have Learned About Thanksgiving and Turkeys This Week on the Food Network
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 24 November 2010
Stats: 5,933 views and 3 Comments

If you watch the Food Network, you know that in the two weeks leading up to Thanksgiving they show Thanksgiving-themed programming around the clock.

Home Repair For Jerks
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 19 November 2010
Stats: 4,765 views and 1 Comment

We are now proud to introduce a selection from a new do-it-yourself series that peddles to the irritating, malicious and purposely difficult among us. This one’s for you, jerks!

Crime Prevention Tips for a Dangerous World
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 12 November 2010
Stats: 4,599 views and 1 Comment

You probably live a state of constant fear, and with good reason: The world is full of blackmailers, robbers, printer cartridge mailers and other “ers” far too terrible to mention.

A Halloween Apology Letter
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 5 November 2010
Stats: 3,740 views and No Comments

Dressing as you for Halloween was intended as an homage, it was not meant to insult or anger you. It was just a rib. (By the way, did you see the McRib is back this week? Yum!)

Monsters That Never Took Off
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 29 October 2010
Stats: 4,150 views and 1 Comment

The first attempt at a vampire story failed because the creature didn’t drink blood. Instead, he licked sweat off of sweaty, overweight men.

Halloween Thoughts on Scooby-Doo
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Posted in Lies and Entertainment on 22 October 2010
Stats: 5,903 views and 3 Comments

I thought to myself, why is it less scary that a man in a costume is chasing them around with an axe than if it were a mummy or a floating revolutionary war soldier?